Friday, July 14, 2006
 | So there's that. While I was home last week, the Doctor and I went to the Sweet Oregon Grill on a Wednesday for a lunch date and an hour later it ended with me driving away angry and huffy because of something he said as we were hugging goodbye. Friday morning the Sweet Oregon Grill had burned to the ground. Seriously. My life is THAT symbolic. Okay, so I'm being dramatic.. but the Sweet Oregon Grill really did burn down. And leaving Portland on Monday night might have been the hardest goodbye I've ever done. Picture, if you will, an emotional Me hyperventilating so hard at the American Airlines check-in that they didn't even weigh my bags - they just tagged them and pointed me in the direction of security screening. (The plus of this scenario is that my bags had to have been about 60 pounds each -- being an emotional wreck definitely saved me at least 50 bucks.) I then continued on to my red-eye that provided no pillows or blankets and was probably the coldest flight I've ever been on. So NOW picture a slightly subdued emotional Me with my UNC sweatshirt zipped up to my chin and my hood cinched tightly around my head as I leaned my face against the hard window to sleep. I took a break in Dallas to change planes and cry some more before I got on my second uncomfortable and pillow/blanket-less flight to LaGuardia where I proceeded to cry until I got on my shuttle to Port Authority. It was a rough 24 hours, to say the least. But here I am. While I was gone from New York, winter became summer. I feel funny leaving my apartment now without grabbing a hat or scarf because it was such a habit for the three months I lived here previously. This city seems completely different to me with warm weather. Even with the humidity and mugginess and the fact that I am sweating at 7:45 in the morning as I walk into work, I think I'm going to enjoy these next few months a lot better than I did January through April. Rochelle and I took our breaks together at the same time today and we spent it at Lou's Cafe on 53rd and 6th at an outside table so she could get food and I could get an iced coffee. I had stopped at Lou's several times this winter to get a latte on my breaks from Del Frisco's because their foam was, well, outstanding. Now I have discovered their brilliant iced lattes that magically have the beautiful foam resting on top of the ice. How do they DO that?? My dad called this evening as my sister and I were getting slightly drunk off of white-cranberry vodkas in her new apartment in Inwood. We had Jimmy Buffett playing; I was broiling chicken breasts and cooking some fresh vegetables I bought in the market at Rockefeller Center while Courtney tried with minimal success at assembling a fan and a shower caddy. My father only listened to me rant about my sister's lack of a cutting board and decent sized frying pan for a minute before he told me to put my sister on the phone. Courtney insists that he knew we were buzzed; I contend that he was just strapped for time and had to go. Whatever. I sat on the floor of her living room and munched on my zucchini and squash and laughed until my gut hurt as she showed me her newest bit about the interning therapist who always says the wrong thing. (Do you know my sister? Ask her to do this for you. Tell her I sent you.) I am contemplating which pretty sundress to wear for my sister's birthday party tomorrow night. I'm thinking about trying to catch some Shakespeare in the Park one of these weekends. And I think I'm going to go for a run again tomorrow along Boulevard East next to the beautiful NYC skyline like I did this morning. I want to keep up the good behavior that the Doctor has inspired in me. Running is the least of these, but it's the easiest to blog about without looking like some moron pontificating on her myspace blogging soapbox. Or like some nostalgic, sentimental broken heart. I may be all of these things, but I don't necessarily have to subject other people to it. "Don't get me wrong: grief sucks; it really does. Unfortunately, though, avoiding it robs us of life, of the now, of a sense of living spirit... whatever you use to keep the pain at bay robs you of the flecks and nuggets of gold that grief will give you... grief ends up giving you the two best things: softness and illumination." |
contemplative 
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